Dont Panic - Garret Fitzgerald says Irish economy is grand

Saturdays Irish Times contained an article that at first glance looked like it had been written by Dads Army's Lance-Corporal Jones. The content of the article was very much in the vein of "Dont Panic", the catchphrase of the hapless home guard soldier. In the article, it was suggested that the Bank Stress Test should be taken with a pinch of salt, that there was no chance that our state would default and that most of the trouble so far had been caused by "the damage done to our financial reputation by some of our more vocal domestic commentators". Damn Fuzzywuzzies.

This article wasnt wrote by Corporal Jones. It was wrote by Dr Garret Fitzgerald, the former Fine Gael leader and obvious mad man.

"For smaller states like Ireland they depend on second-hand information. This includes often ill-informed media reports, which in our case have involved reports of some of the 'celebrity economists' who have been seeking publicity by claiming that our problems are so great that we will eventually have to default."

Of course, Thats it! Half a million unemployed, the return of emigration, mass misery. They werent caused by political incompetence and the corruption of people like Garret. Oh no! They were caused by David McWilliams, Morgan Kelly and Fintan O' Toole.

Replying to Dr Fitzgeralds incredible article, David McWilliams said that he was reluctant to get into a "row" with Dr FitzGerald: "I have too much respect for Garret," he said. He added: "I am reminded of what Johnny Giles says when his football analysis is criticised: 'Show me your medals'."