Seems all the papers are running their "six ways to tighten your belt this recession" articles this week. Why are we tightening our belts? Because a group of greedy, incompetent members of the Irish elite gambled away our future. Maybe instead of tightening our belts, we can first have the enjoyment of revenge. So here it is, 6 ways to your own back on those who caused this recession!
Seanie Fitzpatrick raped me:
It seems that no matter who is in government, Seanie Fitzpatrick, Ireland's biggest thief, is immune from arrest. If we cant get him sent down for his crimes, then maybe we can invent crimes. Is a spell in the sex offenders unit good enough revenge on this man who had caused so much hardship and woe?
Make a fake video of David Drumm slagging off Islam:
Drumm is now living in the states, surely content in the knowledge that he has got off scott free. With a bit of video editing, we can change all that. Lets make David Drumm the number 1 global hate target for fundamentalist Muslims.
Send Brian Cowen to the dog food factory:
Ok so Cowen was thrown in at the deep end when Bertie left, but he was the compliant minister for finance who should have seen this coming and did something to avoid it instead of steering us straight onto the rocks. Verdict: Wouldn't Brian make great dog food?
Send Tony O Reilly into the Sun:
Tony O' Reillys media empire allowed that golden circle to work undisturbed during the tiger years. When his papers should have been exposing the fact that our elite were paying less tax than our work force, Reilly turned a blind eye. He has brought down governments in the past. The problem is he has also kept governments, like Fianna Fail, in power. Hes rich enough to afford one of the new space tourism flights, so all we have to do is divert his shuttle into the sun.
 |
| Lowrys on the game again |
Give Michael Lowry a sex change op and put him on the game in Bangkok:
Everyone knows that Lowry is the poster boy for corruption on Irish politics. What better person to make an example out of. Since he already likes selling his services to the highest bidder, a life as a Thai prostitute would suit him down to the ground.
Make Bernard McNamara clean the 300,000 empty houses in Ireland....with a toothbrush:
Bernard McNamara was one of the most successful property developers during the boom. He took full advantage of his political connections to further his empire. He can certainly be used as a poster boy for the greed and corruption that was bred from the property blitz. Today there are over 300,000 empty houses in Ireland. This is down to greed, poor planning and bribery. Lets give McNamara a toothbrush and the impossible task of keeping these houses tidy.
No comments:
Post a Comment