Secret quotes from Dail Eireann

(Whats your personal goal in this Dail?)

Enda: "To get my picture on the cover of Time magazine.... or the Farmers Journal."

Michael Martin: "I will erase Brian Cowens existence from the nations collective memory. Ever seen that film Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? All I'm saying is watch out....but you wont realise what Ive done when I do it because you wont remember."

Eamon G: "To undermine Enda and take his job."

Brendan Howlin: "To undermine Eamon and take his job."

Joe Higgins: "To undermine everyone and take any job."

Ming: "To legalise smoking cannabis and possibly uranium."

Mick Wallace: "To legalise not paying back your banking debts."

Leo V: "To legalise hunting homeless people."

Paul Kehoe: "To legalise shooting travellers."

Eamon O Cuiv: "To thank Buddha every day that I didn't get the leadership job."

Joan Burton: "I want to become the new face of L'Oreal in 2012."

Brendan Smith: "I'm hoping to popularise cheese as much as possible.... do you like cheese?"

Willie Penrose: "Id like to crush the rumours that I had a steamy love affair with Mary O Rourke. Theres almost no truth to that rumour."