Good little Enda

IMF deputy director in Europe Ajai Chopra yesterday thanked Enda Kenny and the FG/Labour government for keeping Ireland on course to meet its EU/IMF commitments, even when it meant breaking all of their pre election promises and condemning future Irish generations to poverty.

"Enda is a very good little boy," Mr Chopra said, "At first, when I heard his pre election promises, I thought he might be trouble. However, after meeting with him, I learned quickly that he was a gutless, spineless liar who would be prepared to sell his own family for the chance to lead his country. Lying to his people was no problem for a man like Enda."

Mr Chopra went on to praise others in the coalition;
"Mick Noonan has a right tongue on him for kissing ass. He kissed my ass several times. As for Mr Gilmore, the Irish socialist, its amazing how a champagne dinner can turn a crusader for workers rights into a heartless tool of the IMF!"

Screw the Irish Tax Payers!

Irish taxpayers should not complain about having to bailout the country's crisis-hit banks,  according to ECB executive board member Lorenzo Bini Smaghi. In an opinion piece in today's Financial Times,  Mr Bini Smaghi said Ireland's taxpayers should foot the bill as they are the ones that benefited during the pre-crisis boom years and elected the governments that regulated the banks as the problems built. "The principle of 'no taxation without representation' should work both ways. If taxpayers have the right to share in decision-making, they must also accept the consequences," Mr Bini Smaghi wrote.

Mr Bini Smaghi should have researched his opinion piece more thoroughly as it is obvious to anyone with a brain that the vast majority if Irish tax payers did not benefit from the Celtic Tiger boom, unless you call being landed with massive debts and houses that are worth a fraction of the buying cost benefiting.

Mr Smug

Its clear to everyone, including our friend Bini Smaghi, that a small elite were the only ones to benefit from the Celtic Tiger, that this elite compromised the nations future by being completely blinded by their own greed and that this elite wont now pay their fair share towards rebuilding the country so the only option is to screw the people who are not part of the elite.

This is not the first time that the Italian economist has stuck his nose into Irish affairs. In January of this year, Bini Smaghi had the following pop at the Irish Tax Payer.
“WHEN THERE are people who say that the Irish taxpayers are suffering from the problems created by the banking system, I would remind that for many years the Irish taxpayers benefited from that system,” he says.

“Democracies have to be accountable and consistent with their own choices. I don’t think anybody outside Ireland should tell Ireland what to do, but you should not complain if now you have to increase taxes as a result of the choice of economic model the Irish people made.”

Enda Kenny gets Rebranded

Taoiseach Enda Kenny said today that he switched the title of the 'Jobs Budget' to 'Jobs Initiative' because some people were confused about what was being planned.

It seems that the coalition government are going to make a number of rebrandings to clear up other areas of confusion for the general public.

First of all, Fine Gael and Labours pre election promises are from now on to be referred to as the "Little white lies that were told to benefit the Irish people". The Universal Social charge will be rebranded as the "Happy Happy Smiley Face", while the cuts to the minimum wage will be known as "A small little price to pay to feed starving orphans", and of course, no government could ever reverse that!

Health Minister James O Reilly will be rebranded as St James the pious. The bank bail out will now be called the "terrible thing that fianna fail did" and Fianna Fail will be blamed for everything bad that happened during their term in government, and during this government.

Finally, Enda Kenny will be rebranded as E K Dudemister, to put him in touch with the disenfranchised youth of Ireland. He'll broadcast to them via satellite once a week. They should be able to receive it in their squats in Australia.

E K Dudemister

Two Gangsters and a Prince

During his visit to Ireland last week, Prince Albert of Monaco had dinner with disgraced on the take TD Michael Lowry and crooked former banker Michael Fingleton.

The dinner was organised by businessman Dr Michael Smurfit, Ireland's Honorary Consul in Monaco, and took place in the K Club, which Dr Smurfit owns. Mr Fingleton, while controlling Irish Nationwide Building Society, gave a loan to Dr Smurfit and property developer Gerry Gannon to purchase the K Club in Co Kildare.

Dr Smurfits position of honorary Consul is under the control of the Department of Foreign Affairs, currently run by Labour leader Eamon Gilmore. Despite claiming he is shocked that this dinner took place, and insisting that it was unofficial, he has made no moves to remove Dr Smurfit from this role or to discipline him for an obvious abuse of power. It seems Mr Gilmore is happy to accept the antics of the Golden Circle. Meanwhile, his labour colleague, Joan Burton, announced that cuts to Children's benefit were likely.

Irelands very own Rat Pack....

One law for them.....One law for you.

Seanie Fitzpatrick raped me - 6 ways to get your own back on them

Seems all the papers are running their "six ways to tighten your belt this recession" articles this week. Why are we tightening our belts? Because a group of greedy, incompetent members of the Irish elite gambled away our future. Maybe instead of tightening our belts, we can first have the enjoyment of revenge. So here it is, 6 ways to your own back on those who caused this recession!

Seanie Fitzpatrick raped me:

It seems that no matter who is in government, Seanie Fitzpatrick, Ireland's biggest thief, is immune from arrest. If we cant get him sent down for his crimes, then maybe we can invent crimes. Is a spell in the sex offenders unit good enough revenge on this man who had caused so much hardship and woe?

Make a fake video of David Drumm slagging off Islam:

Drumm is now living in the states, surely content in the knowledge that he has got off scott free. With a bit of video editing, we can change all that. Lets make David Drumm the number 1 global hate target for fundamentalist Muslims.

Send Brian Cowen to the dog food factory:

Ok so Cowen was thrown in at the deep end when Bertie left, but he was the compliant minister for finance who should have seen this coming and did something to avoid it instead of steering us straight onto the rocks. Verdict: Wouldn't Brian make great dog food?

Send Tony O Reilly into the Sun:

Tony O' Reillys media empire allowed that golden circle to work undisturbed during the tiger years. When his papers should have been exposing the fact that our elite were paying less tax than our work force, Reilly turned a blind eye. He has brought down governments in the past. The problem is he has also kept governments, like Fianna Fail, in power. Hes rich enough to afford one of the new space tourism flights, so all we have to do is divert his shuttle into the sun.

Lowrys on the game again

Give Michael Lowry a sex change op and put him on the game in Bangkok:

Everyone knows that Lowry is the poster boy for corruption on Irish politics. What better person to make an example out of. Since he already likes selling his services to the highest bidder, a life as a Thai prostitute would suit him down to the ground.

Make Bernard McNamara clean the 300,000 empty houses in Ireland....with a toothbrush:

Bernard McNamara was one of the most successful property developers during the boom. He took full advantage of his political connections to further his empire. He can certainly be used as a poster boy for the greed and corruption that was bred from the property blitz. Today there are over 300,000 empty houses in Ireland. This is down to greed, poor planning and bribery. Lets give McNamara a toothbrush and the impossible task of keeping these houses tidy.

I think the Irish have taken the point - Liz on Tour

“I think the Irish have taken the point.” - Sir Arthur Galsworthy ,British Ambassador to Ireland, responding to the Dublin and Monaghan bombings of May 17, 1974.

Yesterday a joint statement was made by Ára an Uachtaráin and Buckingham palace confirming that British monarch Elizabeth Windsor will pay a state visit to Ireland between Tuesday 17th to Friday 20th May 2011. Maybe its just one of the sick ironies of history, but Elizabeth's visit coincides with the anniversary of the Dublin and Monaghan bombings.

Dont mess with the Liz.

At 17:30 on Friday 17 May 1974, with no warning, three car bombs exploded almost simultaneously in Dublin's city centre at Parnell Street, Talbot Street, and South Leinster Street during rush-hour. Twenty-three persons died in these explosions and three others died as a result of injuries over the following few days and weeks. Ninety minutes later, at approximately 18:58, one more car bomb (weighing 150 pounds) exploded outside Greacen's pub in North Road, Monaghan, just south of the border. As in Dublin, no warning had been given. This bomb killed five people initially, and another two died in the following weeks.

The Ulster Volunteer Force later claimed responsibility for the attack, but it has been long believed that security forces colluded with them to help the success of the operation. The immediate results of the attack saw public opinion turn against the IRA and the civil rights movement in the south. One MI6 man would later come out and admit the collusion and state that some members of the Gardaí had also been involved.

Speaking after the details of the state visit emerged, Sinn Féin President Gerry Adams said that the "scheduling of the visit on the anniversary of the Dublin and Monaghan bombings is particularly insensitive."

Lifeboat Ireland - Golden Circle plan to rip off climate refugees

In todays Indo, theres a piece on global warming which suggests that Ireland might become a lifeboat for people fleeing drought, rising seas and destructive weather in decades to come. According to NUI Maynooth professor Brendan Gleeson, world temperatures will rise by three or four degrees, leaving only a few currently cool 'lifeboat' regions habitable.  "Cities, including in Ireland, can be reconceived as escape rafts during the painful journey to a new climate regime," he said.

Im sure Ireland will welcome this wave of refugees with a cead mile failte, just like we welcomed the migrant workers from Eastern Europe during the Celtic Tiger. Opps, bad example. Of course we'll welcome them. In fact, I bet our elite are already drawing up plans on how best to fleece these poor sods when they arrive.

TOP SECRET MEETING OF GOLDEN CIRCLE

ENDA KENNY: "Ok, listen up. It looks like we're going to have a load of foreigners wanting to set up shop here, so how can we profit from this....as a nation I mean of course haha."

BEN DUNNE: "Who died and made you the boss Kenny?"

ENDA: "How dare you Ben, Im the democratically elected leader of this nation. Now shut your mouth or yu'll be getting no more political favours, you naughty millionare business man you"

TONY O' REILLY: "Everyone knows Im calling the shots here, right? Im the only one of you with a knighthood"

SEANIE FITZPATRICK: "Ok so how are we going to make money out of these peoples misfortune?"

ENDA: "Jaysus Seanie, I thought you bankers would be keeping a low profile after recent events"

DAVID DRUMM: "Seanies right Enda, when theres a profit to be made you have to get stuck in!"

ENDA: "David Drumm! I didnt see you come in"

DRUMM: "Came in through the window. The guards are looking for me so best to avoid the main entrance"

BRENDAN SMITH: "Is there anyway we can sell these lads cheese? Ive got crates of bloody cheedar rotting in me attic!"

ENDA: "Shut up Smith, your not even part of the circle anymore"

BERTIE AHERN: "Yeah, shut your mouth fianna failer! Ive got an idea. Why dont we try and get these guys to invest in a large building project in our capital?"

ENDA: "mmm, it would create employment..."

Welcome to Lifeboat Ireland, commanded by a right bunch
of pirates who will rob you of everything of value

DRUMM: "And we could ignore their workers rights as they're not Irish"

EAMON GILMORE: "Ill make sure the Unions wont help them"

BRENDAN SMITH: "Ill sell them cheese. Building is hungry work."

SEANIE FITZ: "Its a great idea Bertie, but wait a minute, what are we going to build?"

BERTIE: "Ah well in fact ah, I was thinking of a big sports stadium..."

EVERYONE ELSE: "Ah no!"

ENDA: "Sports stadium? Ya bloody chancer Ahern!"

SEANIE FITZ; "I told you before Bertie, the Bertie Bowl is gone. Forget about it."

BERTIE: "Ah jaysus, it could work lads"

MICHAEL LOWRY: "Why are you lads always trying to rip people off? Oh by the way, anyone want to invest in my new Las Vegas casino project in rural tipperary?"

Everthing bad is good for Ireland - Richard Bruton

Enterprise Minister Richard Bruton has said he believes the situation in Portugal, which is the latest country to formally request financial aid from Europe, will help Ireland's case.

Mr Bruton went on to say that the tsunami in Japan would be good for Irish constrution, if Irish builders are prepared to travel for a bit of work. He also suggested that the continuing nuclear crisis over there would do Irish farming the world of good.

"Everything bad is good"

"Sure the more damage to everyone else the better for us," Mr Bruton laughed, "Thats the Fine Gael policy!"

Tax the Dole - Kevin Myers

Kevin Myers is at it again.

In his latest rant, he has called for the taxing of social welfare, the old age pension and children's allowance.

"We have a "universal social charge" which is not remotely universal. It is not levied on the dole, or social welfare, or children's benefits, or capital gains, and only partly on pensions."

Maybe its easy for someone like Myers to talk about increasing the hardship caused by the Universal Social Charge, rather than admit the need for a wealth tax. Not so easy for a struggling family with a over inflated mortgage on their heads. Not so easy for the 20% of Irish children who go to bed hungry every night. Not so easy for our young unemployed who are being forced out of their country by the conditions that the people at the top end of economic society created.

Its a wonder Myers didn't just blame the leaders of the 1916 Rising for the recession again.

Pay your Universal Social Charge serf!

US tried to infiltrate Ecuadorian Armed Forces

Ecuadorian President Rafael Correa has expelled the US Ambassador to Ecuador following a Wikileaks publication of diplomatic cable accused the Ecuadorian chief executive of being aware of police corruption in the country.

The WikiLeaks cable, dated July 10, 2009 indicated that US Ambassador Heather Hodges accused Jaime Hurtado 'a corrupted police commander' of using his position "to extort cash and property, misappropriate public funds, facilitate human trafficking, and obstruct the investigation and prosecution of corrupt colleagues.”

President Correa

President Correa has said that the expulsion is justified as he believes that the United States was attempting to infiltrate the Ecuadorian Armed Forces and Police Force.

The Fenian Rising

Yesterday marked the 144th anniversary of the Fenian Rising.

On this day failed risings took place in Cork, Limerick and Dublin. In Dublin, The police sergeant at Crumlin reported that, “the Dublin road is crowded with young men, all taking the direction of Tallaght”. At Tallaght, the RIC attacked the Fenian group, and drove them off after a firefight.

The rising failed as a result of lack of arms and planning, but also because of the British authorities' effective use of informers. Most of the Fenian leadership had been arrested before the rebellion took place.

The fenians did manage to proclaim a Provisional Republican government, nearly fifty years before Pearse and his comrades.

"The soil of Ireland, at present in possession of an oligarchy, belongs to us, the Irish people and to us it must be restored. We declare also in favour of absolute liberty of conscience and the separation of Church and State. We intend no war against the people of England; our war is against the aristocratic locusts, whether English or Irish, who have eaten the verdure of our fields."

Being Irish is shit - Kevin Myers

That delightful West Brit Kevin Myers has had a wonderful article published in today's Indo entitled "Being Irish does not excuse us from adhering to a moral order."  In it, Myers admits his disdain for the Dunnes stores slogan - "The difference is we're Irish."

"What does the smug exceptionalism behind 'being Irish' actually mean? Does it mean that we may violate the universally accepted rules of God and man, and kill certain people whenever the mood so takes us? Does it mean that our bank regulators can ignore the cardinal rules of finance? And when our banking system collapses, does it mean those regulators can walk off into the sunset, with tax-free golden handshakes and inflation-proof pensions for the rest of their lives, which is what they did? Does it mean that the outgoing cabinet, which presided over the greatest sovereign-debt fiasco in European history, should similarly reward themselves? Well, they did too."

Yes Kevin, because of the corruption of an elite in our society, the Irish race has obviously be proven to be inferior and unfit for survival. Lets all head for the Gas Chambers. Myers can switch them on because hes the only one perfect enough to live on in a new world without Irish people.

"The 1916 Rising caused the banking crisis you know"

As well as rightly condemning the culture of political/Big Business corruption, Myers also manages to turn the article around to his pet hate, Republicanism. That's right, Myers manages to link an article about Ben Dunne and Michael Lowry to the Provisional IRA. He also manages to get pompous revisionist views on the 1916 Rising into print again.

"In three weeks, the State will once again celebrate the violent events in which hundreds of Irish men, women and children were killed."

Maybe Myers has his own fan base who like reading the same rhetoric about his views on the 1916 Rising over and over again, but I'm getting tired of it. For once, Id like to see him write about something else. Maybe a piece on Steve and Beckys marriage difficulties in Cornation Street. Or a critique of Bear and the Big Blue House. Or maybe a nice little article on the legacy of Katie Prices appearance in the "I'm a celebrity" series.

Ah whats the point.

He'd only find a way of linking it back to the 1916 Rising again.

The Soil of Ireland for the People of Ireland

"The 8,000 individuals who are owners of Ireland by divine right and the grant of God, confirm (by themselves) in sundry successive acts of parliament have a full view of these coming results [i.e. Ireland would become a pasture ground once gain. and its agricultural population would decay or vanish and become extinct at once] and have distinctly declared their intention of serving notice to quit on the people of Ireland…The landlords have adopted the process of depopulating the island and are pressing it forward to their own destruction, or to ours…"

These were the words of the great Irish revolutionary James Fintan Lalor in 1847. Lalor was referring to the damage that the small controlling elite of Ireland had allowed to befall the general population. With the nation crippled from the effects of famine, this controlling interest was sitting back. They were not going to risk losing profit by intervening to help the general populace. Not when it was far more profitable to allow Ireland to become depopulated through famine and forced emigration, allowing them say over a much more "civilised" country.

James Fintan Lalor

Fast forward one hundred and sixty years.

Once again young Irish people are being forced to emigrate, to turn their backs on their families and nation in order to survive. Once again Irish children go hungry. It might not be a famine, but it is preventable. Once again the controlling interest in society is closing ranks. As Fintan O' Toole pointed out quite rightly, these people made themselves non citizens during the bleek eighties to avail of tax exemptions. During the boom they were back as Irish citizens, taking full advantage of the good circumstances and extremely well preforming workforce. And now, well they've disappeared again.

All notions of a wealth tax have been knocked on the head by our new government, which included the supposedly socialist Labour party. Whats worst is that they are making little headway in reforming the crooked tax system, full of exemptions and clauses, which allowed our national top earners to pay less percentage of tax than under pressure PAYE workers during the boom.

Instead, this government, like their predecessors, have let the full burden of the unjust bank bail out fall on the heads of the general population. The banks now require a further €24 billion, pushing the cost of recapitalisation of the banks to €70 billion. That means that each working person in this State will be shouldering the burden of around €39,000 of bank debt. It means public services will be cut. It means social benefits will be cut. It means the continued imposition of the grossly unfair Universal Social Charge. It means no money for a job creation stimulus. It means another decade of misery.

20% of Irish children go to bed hungry

All of this could be avoided if the government would face up to its moral and political responsibilities. Those who benefited most from the boom must now pay back the most to get this country back on its feet, and save it from utter destruction. The faceless figures hiding behind gombeen politicians and an impotent established media must now face their burden.

Back to Lalor. In his last article for the Irish Felon “Clearing Decks,” Lalor wrote —

“Remember this—that somewhere and somehow, and by somebody, a beginning must be made. Who strikes the first blow for Ireland? Who draws first blood for Ireland? Who wins a wreath that will be green forever?”

IMF CRIBs

A team of officials from the IMF arrives in Ireland today to review the books at the Department of Finance. What exactly will they find? A department of professionals, who were wronged by an arrogant government? Or a bunch of feckin eejits who sit on their arse all day and blame everyone else for their mistakes?

 

 

"Yo dudes and lassies, its your home man Michael Noonan T to the D here for a special edition of IMF CRIBs. I'm here in a place that's no stranger to all night partying, drug orgies and sodomising... that's right, its government buildings, The Department of Finance section to be exact."

"The IMF have asked me to make a video to show them exactly what they've bought...I mean lent to, so here it is. The Department of Finance is made up of four main sections. First up, the Financial Services Division, or the mental heads as I like to call them. Its their job to deal with policy and legislation on the regulation of the financial services sector and the stability of the financial system. Ha ha ha. Who am I kidding? They're rarely here, and when they are their doing lines of charlie and sodomising each other ha ha ha, cool or what?"

Michael Noonan T to the D

"Next up its the party animals in the Budget Taxation and Economic Division. Hang on, I think I hear them holding another of their famous Keg parties. This is where Brian Lenihan spent most of the last few years, drunk out. These guys deal with overall budgetary policy; economic policy and forecasting; and taxation policy. That's why we made such a balls of it over the last decade. Try putting together a decent tax system when your drinking tequila off the well rounded breasts of a Brazilian prostitute!"

"Next up, its the Sectoral Policy Division. You wont find anyone drunk down here. No sir. They prefer the weed here. Jaysus, its like walking through a bush fire. These lads deal with sectoral policy advice and public expenditure management issues. They also use up half the departments annual budget on munchies. At least there not spending tax payers money on drugs. These guys grow their own on the roof of Leinster House."

"Finally, here we are in my favourite section, Public Services Management and Development. These guys deal with public service pay and conditions. You might have noticed that no one wears clothes in this department. Maybe its because they're free spirits, or maybe its the large, tax payer funded jacuzzi that they've had installed. Anyway, that's me crib you hoes. I'm off for a dip now, so from Minister of Finance Michael Noonan, keep it real dogs...... Hey Johnny, move over and let me in ya fecker."

Pro Democracy Protestors shot dead by Yemen government

Yemen government forces have shot dead ten pro democracy protestors and wounded up to thirty more in a new wave of demonstrations there.

Witnesses said that Yemeni soldiers on Monday opened fire at tens of thousands of protesters demanding the ouster of decades-long President Ali Abdullah Saleh. Since mid-February, Yemen has been witnessing daily anti-government rallies -- inspired by the protests in Tunisia and Egypt -- which demand crucial economic and political reforms. Despite daily anti-government rallies, Saleh says he plans to remain in office until his term ends later this year. More than 83 people have been killed in the anti-government rallies in Yemen so far.

 
Isn't it strange that the great Western Democracies are prepared to "intervene" in oil rich Libya for the sake of democracy and citizens rights, while taking no stance on Yemen, one of the poorest and least developed countries in the Arab world?

Dont Panic - Garret Fitzgerald says Irish economy is grand

Saturdays Irish Times contained an article that at first glance looked like it had been written by Dads Army's Lance-Corporal Jones. The content of the article was very much in the vein of "Dont Panic", the catchphrase of the hapless home guard soldier. In the article, it was suggested that the Bank Stress Test should be taken with a pinch of salt, that there was no chance that our state would default and that most of the trouble so far had been caused by "the damage done to our financial reputation by some of our more vocal domestic commentators". Damn Fuzzywuzzies.

This article wasnt wrote by Corporal Jones. It was wrote by Dr Garret Fitzgerald, the former Fine Gael leader and obvious mad man.

"For smaller states like Ireland they depend on second-hand information. This includes often ill-informed media reports, which in our case have involved reports of some of the 'celebrity economists' who have been seeking publicity by claiming that our problems are so great that we will eventually have to default."

Of course, Thats it! Half a million unemployed, the return of emigration, mass misery. They werent caused by political incompetence and the corruption of people like Garret. Oh no! They were caused by David McWilliams, Morgan Kelly and Fintan O' Toole.

Replying to Dr Fitzgeralds incredible article, David McWilliams said that he was reluctant to get into a "row" with Dr FitzGerald: "I have too much respect for Garret," he said. He added: "I am reminded of what Johnny Giles says when his football analysis is criticised: 'Show me your medals'."

English Queen to play Croke Park

The English monarch, Elizabeth Windsor, will visit Croke Park next month as part of her state visit to Ireland. It is understood that Liz is keen to visit GAA HQ, despite the fact that many in the GAA would prefer her not to. It is believed that some in the GAA believe that it will bring the wrong kind of attention to the legendary stadium, and pose a major security headache.

If her visit goes ahead, she wont be the first representatives of the British crown to visit Croker. On the 21st of November, 1921, British forces opened fire on the crowd at a Gaelic football match in Croke Park, killing fourteen civilians.

Will Liz kit out for the cats in the championship?



Fine Gael & CJ Haughey got money from the same "donor"!

“We committed ourselves to introducing the necessary legal and constitutional provisions to ban corporate donations to political parties. We also committed ourselves to reducing the limits on donations to political parties and candidates and requiring disclosure of all aggregate sums above a limited threshold." - Enda "Holier than thou" Kenny, March 30th, 2011.

In June 2000, news broke in the Irish media that property magnate Mark Kavanagh, had donated £100,000 to Fianna Fail through his company, Hardwicke Ltd, in 1989. It was revealed that most of the money had found its way into former Fianna Fail leader, CJ Haugheys bank account.

Thanks very much big fella!

As you can imagine this set the tongues of Fine Gaelers wagging.

Just last week Enda "Holier than thou" Kenny spoke of the need to ban corporate donations to political parties. I'm sure Enda intended that the vast majority of people listening to his rhetoric would think of Fianna Fail. He surely didn't intent them to think of his own Fine Gael party.

1995. 21 Club, Manhattan, New York. A fundraising dinner is taking place for a large Irish political party. Corporate donations are the name of the game tonight. Among those donating to this political party are Bank of Ireland, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, the Sedgwick group, Fitzpatrick Hotels, Orion & Global and multinational pharmaceutical giant Schering Plough. Also present and donating is Mark Kavanaghs Hardwicke Ltd. They are not donating because they believe in the ideals of this particular political party. Many of them have recently donated to this particular party's arch rival. They are donating because they fell it will benefit business. They are buying support from a political party. This is political corruption. This meeting is not being held for Fianna Fail. It is, in fact, a Fine Gael fundraiser.

In the words of OMC, How Bizarre!

Last week Enda Kenny pointed to standards in Fianna Fáil, referring to “a culture of thanks very much big fella; walking-around money; whip-arounds; luck on the horses” and referred to “a taoiseach degrading our nation and this office by trousering after-dinner tips”.

Kettle calling the pot black!!!!

Face it Enda, the game is up. Your holier than thou act has failed and its clear to see that Fine Gael are corrupt. Your not a reformer Enda. Your just another gombeen leader.

Or as Mark Kavanagh might say to you; Thanks very much big fella!

Hitler was a Fianna Failer - Leo Varadkar

Leo Varadkar has claimed that a referendum on the Bank Bail out is off the cards as it would be impossible to reverse the Fianna Fail plan. There was me thinking that only the elected government of a state could decide whether or not a referendum should be held, and that it had nothing to do with the last government. Is it a case that Fine Gael are using the "Fianna Fail did it" blame card excessively because they have no idea how to handle this situation, the same as they have no intention of honouring their pre election promises? Here we get inside Leo Varadkars head and learn that his blame FF for everything ideas have actually succeeded in brainwashing him to blame them for somethings that they surely couldnt have been responsible for. Or could they?

"Dear Enda,

I'm writing this letter in response to your letter dated December the third last, when you asked me to dig up the dirt on Fianna Fail. No doubt you remember that you joked that digging up the dirt on Fianna Fail wouldnt be hard. It turns out you were wrong. I have found evidence to suggest that Fianna Fail have been behind centuries of misery and woe."

"First off, Hitler was a Fianna Failer. I found an old membership card of his, and a picture of him sharing a banana sandwich with Dev. Stalin was also a member, as was Charles Manson, Margaret Thatcher, Osama Bin Laden, Colonel Gaddafi, Howard Stern and the members of Steps."

"Ive found out from internet conspiracy sites that Fianna Fail Don, Bertie Ahern was directly responsible for the Ebola virus and racism, and was also involved in the creation of acid rain, global terrorism, eight hundred years of English oppression, communism, Somalian pirate attacks and the burning of the Reichstag."

"It gets worst Enda. I found the minutes of a 1972 Galway Fianna Fail cumann meeting where they admitted engineering Malaria. According to a drunken tramp I met in the temple bar area, Fianna Fail may also be behind the Bubonic Plague and the Spanish Inquisition. I cant be 100% sure of this cause the tramp was quite drunk, but I wouldnt put it past the bastards."

"Finally, following a dream I had last week and a late night phone call with Alan Dukes, I also now think Fianna Fail are to blame for the following things; HIV/AIDs, genocide in Rwanda, the hole in the ozone layer, human trafficking, cocaine, the assassination of JFK, crop circles, the collapse of the USSR, Michael Noonans receding hair line, people making wine with their feet, scary clowns, bollywood, Michael Flatley, trash soaps, the loss of my innocence, red eye, the fall of Saigon and many, many other evil things."

"Please send the army and aircore to Fianna Fail HQ ASAP to arrest this bunch of bad guys. I'm already on my way. Ive got my cricket bat and signed pocket size picture of Garrett Fitzgerald so I should be able to hold them there for a while."

"Yours truly,

Leo"

April Fools Day - Jackie for President

Jackie Healy-Rae has said he is considering running for President.

The retired TD for Kerry South said he is confident he could get the support for a nomination, but he has said he has not made a final decision yet.

Vote for me boyo!

After two decades of liberal, female presidents, the next resident of Áras an Uachtaráin could be a homophobic, right wing, parish pump politician from Kerry.

Several celebrities have already responded to this sensational April Fools Day news story.

"Great news. The man is a personal friend of mine." - Barack Obama

"He often put me up in his hen house and filled me with poteen. What a character!" - Osama Bin Laden

"He'll certainly sex things up in the Presidental race." - Keira Knightley

"I think his election would herald in a new age of peace and prosperity for the world." - The Dalai Lama

"I'm hoping to get the vise presidents job!" - Michael Lowry